Enyy! It's Not a Weakness, It's How You Use It That Matters.👾

Published: Sun, 02/21/21

“Don’t envy what people have, emulate what they did to have it.”

— Tim Fargo

It’s good to accept your darkness; just don’t revel in it. I can be envious of someone’s athleticism, another person’s money, another person’s relationships, another person’s looks or success, and it’s all normal. What you choose to do with that envy is the difference between mediocrity and success.

Wow! Envy as a tool, Sexy.

The human personality is made up of both light and dark. It would be a mistake to recognize only one aspect of your personality. Envy is not a character flaw or a weakness. It won’t disappear because you ignore it. We know it exists in our psyche, so let’s take responsibility for our shit.

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Envy turns up in my life all the time, but I’ve learned to stop, reframe the green-eyed monster and use it to rise up. It has become second nature now, but it wasn’t always that way. I had to work through it. Most people don’t appreciate what they already have. And I was like most people. They simply pay attention to what other people have, achieve or the recognition they receive. They blame Instagram and the social media revolution, but they are responsible for how they feel. They lack discipline and let envy and jealousy call the shots.

Acting on your envy with hate or ignorance is poisonous. Don’t let it define you. Transform it and use it as a means to elevate yourself. It’s an opportunity to learn more about the subject of our envy and how they became the person they became or how others obtained the object of their envy. It also puts a spotlight on the price you are willing to pay to achieve your goals. This is the key to truly understanding what it is being envious of and how we can positively use it to our advantage.

Ignorance is the mother of all poisons. It’s the belief that things are fixed and permanent. When we see that someone is doing better than us, rather than focus on how we can improve, we get stuck on our current status.

Question everything.
I read a story about a teenage boy who was envious of a sports car driven by an executive living in a neighborhood close to his. He didn’t direct his envy negatively and resign himself to never driving a car of that caliber. No! He set out to achieve it. As soon as he could work, knowing his salary wouldn’t allow him to afford it, he became the apprentice at a motor repair workshop. He learned everything he could over the years about motor vehicle repair and fabrication. In time he bought a kit car based on his obsession and created himself for a fraction of the cost.

That is the power of purpose-directed envy.

If you’re not going to positively transmute envy, it is pointless, dangerous, and corrosive. I learned something from author James Altucher when interviewing Ryan Holiday of ‘The Ego is the Enemy’ fame over dinner. What I discovered from reading it was so practical and powerful, I wanted to share it.

While they ate, their conversation shifted to a discussion about envy. James named some people he envied, but for each one, Ryan named some attributes that he would definitely not want to have from them if they switched places with that person.
They wen’t through a list of people they both admired, but each time there was something in their story or character that would be a deal-breaker if they were to change places with them.

Try it sometime and realize it’s not so bad being you. Whether your envy is directed at a person or an object of your desire, as I suggested earlier, dig deep into their history. It’s not the fairy tale relationship you think it is. The business wasn’t an overnight success as you imagined. The author was addicted to drink and drugs while they wrote the bestselling novel. Are you willing to do what this person did to get where they are? Can you take on that painful character flaw that helped them afford that house?

Envy has responsibilities, my friends. And if you’re not going to use it to educate and propel yourself. Stay well away from using it at all.

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