Have the Courage to be Disliked. It's an Unrecognised Super Power.💪

Published: Wed, 11/18/20

Do not live to satisfy the expectations of others.

- Courage to be Disliked

The world is filled with people who, no matter what you do, no matter what you try, will simply not like you. But the world is also filled with those who will love you fiercely. The ones who love you: they are your people.
Don’t waste your finite time and heart trying to convince people who aren’t your people that you have value. They will miss it completely. They won’t buy what you are selling. Don’t try to convince them to walk your path with you because you will only waste your time and your good emotional health. You are not for them, and they are not for you. You are not their cup of tea, and they are not yours.
Politely wave them along, and you move away as well. Seek to share your path with those who recognize and appreciate your gifts, who you are.
Be who you are. You are not everyone’s cup of tea, and that is OK.

Remember that time I asked for your opinion? Me Neither.

Powerful right.
The only way you are going to make your mark in the world is by setting your standards. And just the consequence of that will make others take offense. It’s just the way it is, and I don’t know any other way it can be. But too many of us get caught up in the game of pleasing others while making ourselves unhappy in the process.

Being popular is fun. It’s exhilarating to feel that, no matter what happens, people like you. They’ll stand by you; they’ll praise you, they’ll give you attention and place you on a pedestal for all others to see. For most people, other people’s attention is an irresistible drug.

It’s a mindset that is dangerous.

Making a mark means challenging the status quo. You’ve got to question conventional wisdom and pursue uncomfortable questions. It’s not easy, but you can’t be afraid to be wrong, and you must challenge and defend your opinions even if it means massive amounts of criticism from the masses.

I love social media. It’s a great way to foster connections worldwide, but you need to have strong values when you decide to use the tool. Without knowing who you are and what you’re about, you can get caught up, pleasing the majority above pleasing yourself. Creating a fake reality for your followers because that is something you think they expect from you. What is even sadder is the people who have spent so much time focusing on pleasing others they have forgotten to please themselves.

Unlearning that need to be popular and liked is tough.

Humans are social creatures, and I’m not saying you should purposely alienate people. But I’m saying you must be able to do what you must even if those actions conflict with popular opinion.

Do it for the love, don’t do it for the likes, Reggae artist Chronixx says, and I endorse that wholeheartedly. If you let the feelings of others decide your success, you’re giving them the power to destroy you at any moment when a like turns to a dislike.

My first novel was a crime thriller based around the Reggae dancehall music business. I loved writing it, but it was always meant to be a standalone book. It did well, and my publishers wanted me to write another novel in that same world. I wanted to explore my interests, but they wanted more of the same. They refused two of my manuscripts without reading them first because I didn’t write a clone of my first book. In the long term, I’m glad I did what I did. Pleasing myself and not my publishers was one of the best things I could have done.

Never look to others for validation because you’ll never truly be happy waiting for someone else to choose you. Look to yourself to be rewarded. No one can do that better than you can.

I'm too old to worry about who likes me and who dislikes me. My focus is on being a creator and making a difference. If you love me, I love you. If you support me, I support you. If you hate me, I don’t care. I will continue to do what is important to me.
What’s important to you family?
Whatever it is, make sure you find it and make it happen, no matter what anyone says.

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