Want to experience Freedom? Don’t Give a F#€k What Others Think of You.😠

Published: Sun, 02/23/20

Opinion is the lowest form of human knowledge. It requires no accountability, no understanding.

- Bill Bullard

Have you ever been crippled by the Negative comments others have made about your work? Listened to supposed well-wishers who have an opinion on how you should improve but know nothing about what you do. Haters who feed on your first effort by making you feel like you’re not good enough.

Your Opinion Doesn't Define me.

Yep, I have, and it was painful.
Those were my pre-Marksman years when I didn’t have a clue how ‘dis ting’ was supposed to work. I cringe when I remember how fragile I was and how much of a slave I was to the opinions of others. I let these voices tell me what to write - How can a black man write speculative fiction? Who to be - definitely, don’t be yourself. What to believe - you’ll never develop a tribe of readers or fans who love your work.
And on and on it went..

I was trapped in a self-imposed cell, my actions dictated by someone else's opinions. Maybe I should give it up.
What was I thinking?

And that was the problem, I wasn't thinking.

I only began to understand what I needed to do to free myself from this prison of misery by reading the stories of my writing inspirations. When I picked up their autobiographies, I understood. Some rebelled, some gave up, and were saved by there spouses, partners, or friends. Some went underground, and some went extreme. But they all decided - after the drama, that they would do what they wanted to do, despite the critics. Not all of them could disassociated from the opinions of others, but the ones who did, lived happy and creative lives

That’s what I wish for you, Urban Fantastic Family. The kind of freedom that will improve both your physical and mental health. The type of freedom that will skyrocket your productivity and creativity. When that day comes, you’ll be incredibly relieved because you know you’re fully responsible for the outcomes of your life. No critics, no opinion makers. You decide. The moment you accept total responsibility for EVERYTHING in your life is the day you claim the power to change ANYTHING in your life.”

You’ve taken back the power that was yours, to begin with. And yes, it can be scary that you have no one to blame but your damn self but look me in the eye and tell me you don’t feel liberated.

I don’t have to put up with doubters and critics. I get a lot of people telling me how to better my writing but who have never written a book in their entire lives. You’ve got to be successfully doing something big or small before I will think about taking your opinion on board.

Cocky?

Maybe.

When the reader Ms. P pointed out a grammatical error to me, she also gave me a handy rule of thumb to never make that mistake again.

I loved that.

I prefer to give my attention to the opinions that matter and ignore everything else. It’s your life kemosabe you decide.

If you’re still worried about the opinions of others, let me leave you with three points that should help lead you to more freedom.

In the moment. The people who you think are judging you, chances are too busy with their own lives.
You’re not the only target of critics and the opinionated. If others can take back their freedom so can you.
You’re doing the best you can. Congratulate yourself and then work harder.

If you get anything from this weeks email, it’s that if you genuinely want to find freedom and joy in your life, fearlessly take control of it. Never be swayed by others’ opinions or criticism. Be comfortable in your own skin, and decide what you, want for YOU.

Peace, love and power

Anton Mark

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