Disappoint Everyone Before Disappointing You

Published: Sat, 01/17/26

Updated: Mon, 01/19/26

“Saying “no” isn’t selfish—it’s self-respect. Protect your time, energy, and peace by choosing yourself without guilt.”

Anonymous

You think that promising lives are destroyed by one Hollywood-style mistake.
Not so gentle reader, some lives slowly dissolve through obedience.

They become fluent in agreement. Skilled at accommodation. Experts at smoothing edges. They learn early that being liked feels safer than being honest. Teachers reward compliance. Families reward “good behaviour.” Workplaces reward availability. And before you know it, your life is built around being easy to manage rather than true to who you are.

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Disappointed but not surprised.

When you finally understand what you’ve done, the quiet question you ask yourself is going to hurt like hell:

“When did I stop choosing myself?”

From a story point of view, the most tragic alternate universe isn’t some dystopian wasteland. It’s the life where you never said the necessary no. Where you stayed agreeable, dependable, pleasing—and quietly disappeared inside your own story.

Bronnie Ware was right: the most common regret of the dying is not living a life true to oneself. Not failing. Not messing up. Simply not choosing.

The Intergalactic Catwalk Challenge: Alien Fashion Has Landed.

“They don’t just wear the future. They are the future.”

🪐 The Premise:

On the runways of cosmic metropolises — from the floating markets of Nubia-6 to the asteroid citadels of Neo-Kumasi — alien fashion models dominate the scene.

These beings don’t just model clothes.
They channel forgotten lineages, wear molecularly programmed fabrics, and alter their form to match the mood of the music.
Their movements collapse timelines. Their presence ignites political uprisings.
And every one of them traces their origin to Earth’s lost continent: Afra-Terra — a splinter dimension shaped by ancestral African dreams.

Some of them wear nothing.
Others wear sentient silks, ink-coded scarification, or biotech woven from memory strands.

The question is:
What does your alien model wear — and why?

🎥 The Challenge

VISUAL ENTRY (Required)
Create a full-body image of your Afrofuturist alien fashion model.
They must be otherworldly — yet unmistakably African in style, rhythm, or essence.

Use AI, freehand, digital illustration, collage, or 3D

Include futuristic or symbolic accessories (e.g. ancestral data tattoos, anti-gravity gele, sound-reactive fabric)

Optional: Pose your model mid-stride, mid-shift, or mid-transmission

TEXT ENTRY (Required)
Write a 250–300 word fashion dossier or catwalk profile that answers:

Name & origin planet/dimension

What they wear (or refuse to)

What makes them a standout in the fashion multiverse

A quote or thought from the model before they step onto the runway

Optional: Their impact on culture, rebellion, diplomacy, or tech

A magazine profile (Intergalactic Style Digest, 2188)

A leaked designer memo

A fan post from a cult fashion blog

🧠 Afrofuturist Angle:

This challenge reclaims fashion as ancestral storytelling — woven with cosmic geometry, African futurisms, and the tech-weaving wisdom of our lineages.
Your models don't just look stunning — they speak to legacy, land, and the next evolution of identity.

🏆 Prizes:

🥇 First Place: $50 + full feature + animated character video (if possible) + inclusion in The Intergalactic Fashion Codex PDF

🥈 Second Place: $25 + feature in newsletter

🥉 Third Place: $10 + mention in the "Holographic Highlights" visual reel

Select entries may appear in:

An Urban Fantastic art zine

A digital “Alien Vogue” reel

The AI-generated Intergalactic Runway Show (let’s build this!)

📬 Submit to: marksmanstudios1@gmail.com
Subject line: "Alien Fashion Model Submission."
Attach your image and/or paste your write-up in the email.

📅 Deadline: 25th January 2026

Attach your art + text entry. You may include your social handle if you'd like to be tagged.

Glennon Doyle’s line cuts even deeper:

“Your job is to disappoint as many people as it takes to avoid disappointing yourself.”

Your aim isn’t to be disagreeable; it’s to be the captain of your own destiny.

If you say no to the extra work, your boss is disappointed.
If you skip the gathering, your family will be disappointed.
If you protect your energy, your friends feel less access to you.
If you pursue your path, someone will feel abandoned.

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I know we have been programmed to think otherwise, but disappointing others is not necessarily a bad thing.

It’s proof you’ve stopped being endlessly available.

It’s uncomfortable saying no. Our nervous system treats social disapproval as a threat. A racing heart. Tight chest. The urge to explain. To soften. To apologise for having needs. That’s not a weakness. That’s just the old programming kicking into gear.

You’ve got to push through the discomfort, or people will see your boundaries not as non-negotiable principles but as fluid ideals that can change with your mood.

And a negotiable self is, in the end, a lost self.

I had a problem with this myself, but I had to make a stand, even when my senses told me I was a horrid person for doing what I had to.

You’re not going to wake up one day, suddenly fluent in saying no. The only way this can become second nature is by jumping straight in and surviving the aftermath of your first honest no. The world won’t collapse. People adjust. Some leave. And surprise, surprise, some will even respect you more.

That's when you feel that glow.

That’s emotional adulthood.

Not the absence of guilt.
The willingness to feel it and proceed anyway.

Let know one tell you that you don’t need boundaries.

Treat them suspiciously if they do.

You are not a public utility; you should have agency over the comings and goings of your life. A person whose time, energy, and identity belong to whoever demands them most is a puppet, not an individual.

And the cost isn’t just resentment.
It’s the erosion of self.

Deeply understand this, and you will never be held hostage by anyone again.

You will disappoint people no matter what you do.

If you choose yourself, some will feel disappointed.
If you don’t choose yourself, you will have let yourself down.

What should you focus on, knowing someone will be disappointed no matter what you do?

That’s simple.

Choose you.

Choosing yourself is uncomfortable in the short term.
Self-abandonment is unbearable in the long term.

Let’s take baby steps.

Start small. Say no to one unnecessary obligation. Decline one request without over-explaining. Protect one hour of your week as it matters. Feel the tension. Let it pass. Notice you survived. Notice your self-respect has grown.

Repeat.

Over time, you become someone who doesn’t need permission to live.

And five years from now, when you look back, the memory won’t be of how many people were pleased with you. It will be the quiet relief of knowing you didn’t disappear trying to keep everyone comfortable.

Don’t abandon yourself.

You’re the man or woman in the mirror and the only one you have to live with forever.

Peace, love and power.