We just need to develop some systems to keep it in check.
Remember, the same mind that forms negative thoughts also creates empowering thoughts. Itās merely a matter of choosing what we focus on. I always tell myself that if I had a choice between expecting a good outcome and a bad one, I would always go for a good outcome. I struggle a lot with it because I grew up in a family that would consider the worst-case scenario first for any challenges we faced. To be fair to my mom and dad, it was always matched with decisive action. The more I began to
learn about living the best version of myself was when I started working on expecting better outcomes.
Your thoughts and perception have power over how you experience the world. You can harness this power to alter your reality by using a tool called reframing.
Ā
āThere is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.ā William Shakespeare.
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Donald Trump is a master of reframing, and it just goes to show it can work for anyone. What happens to you in your day-to-day life does not have inherent meaning; you make it good or bad based on your interpretation. When things donāt go to plan looking at the results from a more positive perspective gives the impetus to seek creative solutions. Bemoaning the results, putting ourselves and others down and blaming circumstances does not provide us with the
necessary momentum to solve our problems.
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Itās not about being delusional; itās about giving yourself an advantage when challenges arise. It can be tricky because the little voice in your head tells you that things are going to shit. Trying to override that human compulsion that evolutionary psychologists are so fond of takes effort. The trick is that, if we can change this little voice by shifting our focus and perspective, we can often change how we view the world and our accomplishments.
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Reframing is a powerful tool, but it takes time and persistence to get good at it. Iām sure there are some elaborate strategies out there that you could follow with some cool names describing the steps and the process.
I canāt do that.
Much too formal for me, and I wonāt bore you with the details. Hereās how I do it.
Every time that small voice in my head asks me to expect the worst, I tell myself to āStop.ā Then I choose a new, more empowering interpretation.
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Iāve found that sometimes itās not an easy switch. Sometimes it will take time to reframe it - tragedies are a good example of how it could take months to make that shift. But the fact you are working at it means you believe there is another valid way to interpret what seems unreconcilable.
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Expecting the worst can erode your confidence by causing you to lose trust in yourself. Keeping on top of the ancient human tendency to think the worst of possible situations takes discipline, but itās worth it. Notice the thoughts, stop them, and then choose the more positive, empowering ones.
It will change your life.
