How to Be Honest with Yourself Even When it Hurts.🏳️😰

Published: Wed, 03/16/22

Honesty brings clarity, and clarity gives us an opportunity to make good decisions.

Aska Kolton

I’m not good at this.
Recognising my limitations just doesn’t sit well with me. But honesty is power, and if I respect myself at all, I should be upfront with the man in the mirror.
We lie to ourselves a lot.
One aspect of my life that I wasn't completely honest - and by no means the only one, is with my writing. Can you believe that I thought if I couldn’t be the best speculative fiction writer around, I shouldn't be writer at all.

Tell the Truth or Someone Will Tell it For You.

Crazy, I know.
The only thing that got me through this block was radical honesty. I couldn’t be an Octavia Butler or a Stephen King, but I could be me. And if I was true to myself, there is nobody like me.
I’m unique.
If I keep working on being the best I can be and if the marketplace considers my work worthy - given time it can, then I am who I can be.
This is my truth.
And when I start embellishing the truth, I try to catch myself and course-correct.

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What is your truth.

It’s amazing how comfortable we get with telling ourselves downright lies. Especially if the world around you is in on the joke.

I’d rather have a conscience I can trust to be honest with me, not a voice that agrees with my every whim and does not challenge me.

If I’m happy and healthy, it’s okay being normal. But I don’t see all these so-called happy, healthy and normal people. Where are they?

The truth is that many people are not physically or mentally healthy, and they think it’s okay. It’s not. There could be a chance I’m preaching to the converted.

You could be happy in your job, business or vocation
You could be mentally, physically and spiritually fit.
You could be time rich. You can do what you want when you want to.

There’s been this growing cultural trend that says you should feel okay about your life no matter what, that there is no such thing as success or failure, that if you just go through the motions in life, things will work out. It also tells you that you shouldn’t judge yourself for making mistakes.

Bullshit!

I’m not saying we should belittle or beat ourselves up. We still need to love who we are unconditionally. What I’m saying is If we’re going on the wrong path, we need to admit it to ourselves and alter our trajectory. Stop coating shit in sugar, as my Mom used to say. The excuses will not remedy what ails you. The fact of the matter is deep down inside, we are not living up to our own standards. Forget about what society expects. What do you expect of yourself? Recognise you need to do something about it and stop telling yourself you are perfect as you are as an excuse to do nothing.

Happiness is about growth, and if you’re not growing, you’re declining. The great thing about the human condition is we have free will. You must decide for yourself what you are willing to accept in your life.

Do you have the nerve, to be honest with yourself?

Realise the journey won’t be easy, and getting to know yourself will be uncomfortable. Don’t run from facing yourself; embrace it and use your honesty to propel you to new and exciting things.

You Got This!