I Cracked the Code. Happiness is an Inside Job. 🤗

Published: Tue, 01/25/22

“You don’t become happy by pursuing happiness. You become happy by living a life that means something.”

Harold S. Kushner

I know I’m a bit late with this, but many people still don’t get it. It’s more apparent to me now than ever, but there are still days where I struggle with the concept that I control my happiness. I had to do some unlearning over the years, but I accept it now. You see, most people want a happy life and seek ‘objects’ and ‘people’ to make them happy.

Don't Let Anyone Douse Your Fire.

Happiness does not arise from things and people; it comes from within.
I’ve gone through much of my life, allowing others and circumstances to dictate my happiness. All this time, I couldn’t appreciate that I had the choice to decide. I’d say stupid shit like when I achieve this and that I’d be happy. Or only when I have ‘x’ amount in my bank account will I be really happy.
Now I know that kind of thinking is bullshit.

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I have friends who are happy with an average job, little money, and no relationship. I know other friends who are happy with a great career, plenty of cash and a fulfilling relationship.

They’ve tapped into the power to be happy regardless of their material possessions. They’ve learned to be happy and grateful now, as opposed to someday.

It doesn’t mean that you have no further need for ambition, drive or dissatisfaction because you’re happy.

Not at all.

You still want to strive for more. You still have goals and dreams; the difference is that your results do not affect whether you are happy.

Happiness is not something you find externally but something you cultivate deep inside yourself. Having a lifelong aspiration or passion can lead to happiness. Something that drives you every day, something that challenges you and make a positive difference in the world.

I got to a place of happiness through what the Japanese call Ikigai.

Like the Danish word hygge, there’s no simple, direct translation into English, but it roughly means the “thing that you live for” or “the reason for which you get up in the morning.”

My ikigai is my writing because it fulfils these five objectives.

It’s challenging. Your ikigai should lead to mastery and growth.
It’s a lifelong commitment. It’s not something you master easily. You must be dedicated.
One of a kind. No one can do what you do in the way you do it.
It makes you feel good. Ikigai is associated with positive relationships, happiness and good health. It gives you more energy than it takes away.
Freedom. You don’t need to ask permission to pursue it. My basic tools are a pencil and a piece of paper. I could be anywhere in the world doing what I do.

As it turns out, happiness is incidental to how you live your life. It cannot be obtained by striving and by doing.

It’s a product of your ikigai.

“Happiness cannot be pursued; it must ensue, and it only does so as the unintended side effect of one’s personal dedication to a cause greater than oneself or as the by-product of one’s surrender to a person other than oneself.” — Viktor Frankl.

Happy people live in the now. They experience the moments. They are incredibly grateful for all they have. They focus their lives on what is important to them because guess what? They're in control.

You Got This!